Hello again. Since the last story did ok, I figured I'd share another from my collection. This one is called "Dogcatcher". It follows a privatized cop tasked with tracking down a lost pet…and what said pet might be like once we can stick biotech into them. This has been one of my favorite stories to write, if only because I had such a fun time with supercops going up against a chihuahua and not having a good day.
Please enjoy.
Despite no human hands on the steering wheel, the patrol vehicle rumbled effortlessly through endless alleys and narrow streets. The windshield flicked through various displays in the orange glow of city lights, cutting through rising steam, registering faces of dishwashers chucking trash, rich partygoers taking poorly-chosen shortcuts, or whatever other denizens scurried out the way like rats. Officer Shu Yuen paid them no attention; he was busy tapping away at his terminal, reviewing notes from the previous night: a couple of citations for public intoxication, confiscation of meager amounts of synthetic drugs, a piss-poor attempt at a ritzy bar fight. The usual upscale trash trying to feel an edge in the neon and gilted world of Buckhead City's noveau riche clientele.
Yuen snorted and tugged at his collar. It wasn't the heavy body armor he wore or the sweaty stink of the sardine-like confines of his patrol vehicle's office that made him feel locked in. It was this city, faker than a public ATM cardreader and more self-absorbed than table salt in the ocean. Something about it stuck to him and clung, weighed him down. He lied to himself that he was helping people, but deep down, he knew he was only still here because privatized policing paid so damn well. Better than the real cops out in the suburbs who looked down upon Gold Badge employees as rent-a-cops with better healthcare.
The radio call was loud enough to rip him out of his maudlin state, a computer's take on feminine that told him it was Dispatch. “10-91, Gold Badge requested. Nearest officer rerouting.”
There was no audible shift, but a momentary stutter in the vehicle's pathing told him his course had been changed. He flexed his jaw to activate his radio. “This is Officer Yuen. I am en route.”
A 10-91 meant an incident with an animal, but no follow up had been provided. He'd have to figure out the problem himself, but in this neighborhood? Towering condos that rented to the likes of young financial execs and drug lords' grandkids? It was probably a leash law violation.
Still, best to be prepared. He hammered the button to release the vehicle's drone support. The windshield flashed a mini-map of its aerial surveillance, and he tapped to transfer it to his helmet. Watch him get all suited up to go find someone's house cat.
The radio buzzed again, a new voice, male, baritone. “Hey Yuen, it's Barnes. You want help? I got a new kid who could use some action.” Someone else cried out in the background, and Yuen grinned. Barnes wasn't a bad guy, not the brightest but not bad at all. And a rookie on an animal call? At least he'd get some laughs.
“Yeah, Barnes, bring 'em. It's an animal call, so you know what that means.”
“I sure do. Rookie gets to clean up the dog shit.”
Barnes' laughter was drowned out by Yuen's own.
It didn't last. When the vehicle stopped and Yuen dismounted, he found himself in front of a massive high rise that glistened of too much money. The front door stood impressive beyond a perfectly manicured lawn, complete with palm trees, brightly illuminated fountains, and a hologram advertising it all as the DUCHESS RESORTS in spinning yellow letters. Even on corporate pay, Yuen doubted he could afford a broom closet here.
The lobby wasn't much better. Beyond the double sliding doors which buffered against oppressive humidity and daily rain, there were hanging chandeliers, plush carpeting, and paintings that dominated the white walls, all tastefully put together. A concierge desk dominated one side, staffed only by a man with movie star looks and a suit which seemed too good to be real. A sudden stutter in the image momentarily revealed Yuen was right, the concierge was also a hologram.
The woman tapping her foot on the carpet, however, was real enough. Her arms were crossed in frustration. She wore exercise clothes with heels and full makeup. Not for the first time, Yuen wondered why some people thought that qualified as casual. He completely ignored the holographic employee looking at him and walked straight towards her. Up close, she had gold plates on her nostrils, the latest body mod fad and another sign of too much money.
“Gold Badge, Officer Yuen reporting,” he said as he tapped his helmet in a mock salute. “You placed a call for us, ma'am?”
“About time you got here. I called ten minutes ago. Ten. Minutes.” Her voice dripped so much privilege and disgust, it was like a slap across the face.
Yuen's response was terse but polite. “Apologies, ma'am. I was rearming to meet your needs. What seems to be the problem?”
Her expression changed immediately from annoyance to too obvious despair. In the back of his mind, Yuen always wondered if people like this were always acting out how they think they should feel. “It's my poor dog. I was coming into the lobby, she was in my arms, and suddenly she growled and jumped out. Ran right outside. And I'm completely devastated. You didn't see her when you came in, did you?”
“No, ma'am, I did not. But I have already activated drone surveillance, and-” The sound of the doors rushing open and heavy boots crunching on soft carpet caused him to turn. Barnes, no helmet as usual and grinning from ear to ear with built-up swagger, had just stepped inside along a shorter Black woman in full kit. Seeing a rookie always reminded Yuen of how much they looked like tanks instead of people. “-and secured backup to ensure we meet your needs,” he finished quickly.
“Hey, Yuen!” Barnes' shouting reverberated through the lobby. The hologram looked up and raised a finger to his lips for quiet. It flickered as it did, causing Barnes to raise an eyebrow.
Yuen nodded to the woman. “Officer Barnes, this is our caller,” he said quickly.
Barnes registered surprise and immediately came to attention. “Apologies, ma'am,” he said to the woman. “I'm Officer Barnes, Gold Badge. This here is Patrol Cadet Jackson.” The rookie tapped her helmet in immediate salute, the epitome of professionalism. A good sign, Yuen thought.
“Barnes,” Yuen turned towards his comrade, “did you see a dog on the way in? Our caller's has managed to get out.”
Barnes' struggle not to roll his eyes was obvious. “Right, no, no dogs. Jackson?” He turned to the rookie. She shook her head.
“Nope, no dogs. Checking surveillance now though, and there's a side alley along the south perimeter. Sending the drone that way.”
Barnes stuck his lip out and glanced at Yuen with a grin.
Jackson was none the wiser, locked into the display in her helmet. “Seems we have a small signature about midway down the alley. Is it a big dog?”
“No, not at all. That's got to be her! She's small, white, with a pink collar. Oh, please bring my precious Pony back.”
All three officers stood stunned for a moment. It was Yuen who finally spoke. “I'm sorry, did you just say you named your dog…Pony?”
“Yes,” the woman nodded. “Who doesn't want a pony?”
“Fair enough,” Barnes replied. “So when we get your…Pony, how should we contact you?”
“Oh, just bring her to the desk and ask the hologram for Keely.” She pressed a hand to her chest to indicate that was her and gave an award-winning smile. Yuen quietly wondered if she rehearsed in the mirror.
“Yes, ma'am, Keely,” he said quickly. “We'll go get your dog back. Barnes, Jackson, let's go.”
The three cops took their leave of the woman and walked out the sliding doors into the sluggish heat outside. The air clung to them, hanging heavy on their armored shoulders. Half the year, the humidity was so bad you'd be stewing in your own gear within five minutes. Not so lucky for them it was that half of the year.
“Ok, Jackson, where'd you see the mutt?” Now that he was away from the client, Barnes' tone was gruffer. “I want to get this done and go find some real work to do.”
Jackson pointed towards the southern corner. The lamp lights that illuminated the fountains and front of the building didn't point that way, leaving it deep in shadows. “We go right around there. Looked like a dumpster halfway down. Dog must be eating from it.”
Barnes grunted, and Yuen gave a nod. “All right, let's get this over with.” He triggered his helmet for night vision and moved towards the corner. Jackson did the same, while Barnes ran his hands through his hair, shaking the sweat off his fingers as he followed them around.
The alley was sparsely lit and dominated only by a large dumpster mid way through. The boxy structure stood in stark contrast to the feigned opulence that surrounded it, a monolith that stopped lazy drivers from cutting through. The heat had baked it, so the reek stuck out over the usual city smells as soon as one turned the corner. Yuen snorted in disgust. A cop's nose could still give vital information, so the helmets did nothing to obstruct one's sense of smell. One could always dream though.
There was a scuffing near the dumpster that drew all three officers' attention. A small, white dog was pulling at the remains of some piece of trash and dragging it into the alley. A pink collar with a bow adorned her neck.
“Oh, thank God, a short job,” Barnes sighed with relief and stepped forward. “Let's grab this puppy and get back inside.” He made his way down the alley as Pony, the small white dog, dropped the trash and looked up at him with bulging eyes.
She fixed her eyes on Barnes. Her teeth pulled back, and she growled. And then her jaw unhinged, revealing metallic strands and additional spikes, a veritable meat grinder. Muscly sinews flexed, and her legs split open, showcasing high end upgrades between strips of her fur. Her growl turned into a howl of raging fury, loud enough to nearly drown out Barnes' quick, “Oh shit!”
Pony launched herself, less jumping, more flying like a missile at the officer. His arm flew up, the embedded armor the only thing that stopped the small dog from shredding him. He slung her away and full on ran back to the entrance of the alley, leaping for cover over a hedge and screaming all the way.
Pony was already back on her feet and booking it down the alley. Yuen and Jackson didn't even bother to pause, just turned and jumped over the hedge with Barnes. “Nobody said that thing was modified! I almost got killed by a freaking poodle,” he moaned, checking the ripped fabric of his sleeve.
“I'm pretty sure it's a chihuahua, sir,” was Jackson's reply. Yuen smirked and peeked over the hedge. Pony was racing back and forth at the alley's edge, yapping warnings. She looked to be all of ten pounds. Her jaw and legs had reverted to their usual size, but now that he knew she was a chromed-out guard dog, Yuen wasn't about to go back out there unarmed.
He looked back over at Jackson. “Ok, I don't want to hurt this thing, and we gotta get her back to her owner, but she appears to be a registered weapon. Thoughts?”
Jackson shrugged. “Bean bags? Shock rounds? We haven't got one of those control pole things, and a Class 3 like her could probably rip through one anyway.”
“Full auto, shoot the damn thing,” Barnes howled unhelpfully.
Jackson frowned at him. “You realize she's probably bulletproof, right?”
Barnes scowled. Yuen rolled his eyes. “Shock rounds. They'll lock up her tech and maybe knock her out. I'll have my drone bring a trap case we can keep her in. Sound good?”
Jackson nodded and drew her sidearm, making sure to change its presets appropriately. “Sounds good.”
Barnes groaned. “Fine.”
“Great,” Yuen said as he sat up to peek over the shrub. “Now, where did she go…?”
He froze as a growling sound came from his side. Slowly he turned his head. Pony had just rounded the bush and was staring at the three of them. Her growling deepened as her mouth extended once more.
Yuen slowly reached for his weapon. Pony's growl turned into a roar, met in volume by the sounds of the officers' screaming.
What emerged back in the lobby were three dirty cops, their uniforms in tatters. Yuen limped in with the now sedate Pony in a small metal carrying cage. Behind him, Jackson rubbed at a sore spot on her arm. Barnes did nothing to wipe the blood that trickled from his nose.
Yuen slammed the trap down on the counter in front of the holographic concierge. “Notify Keely we have her dog.”
The hologram's expression feigned frustration. “Excuse me, sir, but we have a dress code.”
Yuen plucked his ID in front of the hologram. “Gold Badge. Call Keely. Now.”
The hologram flickered to a preset routine, shifting to a totally different position in the flash of an eye. “Yes, officer. I am informing Keely Hazel of your arrival.”
She was down in a flash, practically running from the elevator doors before it was even fully open. “Oh, my sweet Pony! My poor, precious little Pony! Why are you in a little cage?”
Barnes' glare said exactly what he thought, though Yuen wasn't far behind him. Jackson stepped in before either got a chance to speak. “Ma'am, we were unaware Pony was a Class 3 Guard Dog.”
“Oh, yes,” Keely declared as she pulled Pony out of the cage and bounced her in her arms. “Of course she is. She's there to protect me. Isn't that right, my little precious?” Her voice took on the lilt of someone speaking to a baby.
Barnes didn't speak, he simply tapped Yuen on the shoulder with his fist and walked out. Jackson followed after. Yuen waited for a moment longer as the woman cradled her pet before speaking, “Will there be anything else, ma'am?”
The question pulled the socialite out of her revelry, but she quickly plastered on her practiced smile. “No, thank you, officer. I have my Pony back.”
Yuen nodded and dragged the animal trap off the counter. He did not bother to say goodbye, just limped out the door and back into the heat towards the heavy silhouette of his patrol vehicle. In the distance, he could see Barnes' taillights heading away towards his patrol route. He watched them vanish around the corner before climbing into his own car.
The door shut tight behind him with a hiss, and the ventilation system kicked in. As soon as he was in his seat and strapped down, the engine roared to life and lurched forward. Yuen didn't bother looking at the view through the windshield, instead focusing on his terminal. He had reports to write over ammo expenditure, uniform repair, even about teeth marks in his helmet.
But for a moment he caught his reflection in the monitor. Dirty, sweaty, bloodied, torn up, and beat down by a freaking dog the size of a football with bug eyes named Pony.
And Officer Yuen laughed.